When someone tells you “I've already tried everything”, she isn't comparing you to the others. She's warning you that she's afraid to hope again. Your answer doesn't need to prove you're different. It needs to show that you've heard her disappointments, and that your programme starts right there.
What “I've tried everything” means for a wellness practitioner
↪ Read also : Coach en leadership : quand ta cliente a peur qu'on le sache
A client who has tried everything is a client who has already paid, already hoped, and already been let down. She's seen an osteopath, followed an online course, bought supplements, tried meditating on her own. Each time it worked a little, then stopped working at all.
What she's really telling you comes down to three things. First: “I'm not a beginner, so don't talk to me like one.” Second: “I don't want to get it wrong again, and I no longer know who to trust.” Third, and most important: “I'm still here, so I haven't given up.” Someone who had truly given up wouldn't be writing to you.
A client who has tried everything hasn't given up: she's still looking, but she refuses to be wrong again.
For a wellness practitioner less than a year into her practice, this sentence stings. You hear it as a doubt about your legitimacy. She isn't doubting you. She's doubting herself, and her ability to get better.
Why reassuring her doesn't work
The first reflex is to defend your method. “It's different with me.” “My approach is more holistic.” “Other clients had tried everything too.” Every practitioner she saw before you said the same thing. Your promise sounds like the previous ones, and she closes up a little more.
The other reflex is to minimise: “don't worry, we'll get there.” Now you're promising a result you can't guarantee, and she knows it. She heard “we'll get there” before every disappointment.
Reassuring a disappointed client means repeating the very promise that let her down.
What reaches her is the opposite. You promise nothing. You ask what she has tried, what worked at first, and when it stopped working. You let her describe each attempt without correcting her. At the end, you reflect it back: “so every time, it held as long as someone was beside you, and it fell apart as soon as you were on your own.” Very often, that's exactly it. And that is exactly what ongoing support changes.
How to turn her disappointments into a starting point
Her past attempts aren't an obstacle. They're the most valuable information you'll ever get about her. They tell you what doesn't suit her (the online course, because she was alone), what did her good for a while (sessions in person, as long as they were regular), and what she expects without saying it (someone who stays the course with her).
On your discovery call, ask three questions in this order:
- “What have you tried, and what worked, even a little?”
- “When did it stop, and what was going on at that moment?”
- “If we didn't repeat the same mistake, what would it look like?”
The third question gets her to describe your programme for you. She names what she needs: regularity, someone expecting her, a framework. All you have to add is: “that's what we'll do together, and here's how.”
The support she has never had is the one that lasts long enough that she doesn't have to get there alone.
Then make her a precise, honest offer. Not “we'll see how it goes.” A number of sessions, a rhythm, a first goal that is modest and visible. Say clearly what you don't promise. Someone who has been let down recognises a sincere promise by its limits.
And if she still says no?
Sometimes she isn't ready. She needs to see that you won't chase her like the others did. Leave the door open in one sentence: “whenever you're ready, I'm here, and we'll start from what you told me.” That sentence is worth more than any follow-up. It shows her you kept her words.
Sometimes it isn't for you at all. A person who has truly tried everything may need a doctor before a practitioner. Saying so is also what sets you apart from everything she has seen before.
In short
“I've tried everything” is the sentence of someone who is still looking. She isn't asking you to convince her. She's asking you to listen better than the others, to promise nothing impossible, and to stay the course with her. If you want to learn how to lead these discovery calls without pushing, you can book a call.
